Five things I’ve learned since losing my identical twin

There’s this really popular cliche people like to tell the bereaved when they’re suffering and mired in grief. You’re probably familiar with it. You may have even uttered these words. It’s “time heals all wounds.” Yeah…it’s not the greatest thing to say when someone you love is hurting.

In fact, a well-meaning friend spoke these very words, while embracing me at my sister’s funeral. I remember having to take a very intentional deep breath when she said this. My shoulders dropped. My eyes welled with tears. My head swelled with this new and incomprehensible notion of a vast ocean of time I’d now have to navigate alone. What was time without my sister? How could it have meaning now? Would the passage of time really stop this incessant and profound spiritual and emotional pain I was in? And if you’ve ever lost someone who was a part of you then you probably know that the passage of time isn’t quite what heals. So, here are are a few things I’ve learned along this journey that may resonate:

1. The love we share with that person becomes part of the fabric of who we are. Over time, we let go of needing their physical presence to feel connected to them. Their very essence becomes etched inside of us and that love is never lost.
2. We never “get over”the loss.
   We learn to live with it and to incorporate into our…