I used to think happiness was this constant state of elation. I mean that’s what we’re told it is. When we’re happy according to the societal narrative we should be smiling. ALL. THE. TIME. Except, that’s a little grotesque, isn’t it? (I’m having clown flashbacks. Gimme a second. Ok. Deep breaths. And. I’m good). But, luckily, I now have a deeper and more meaningful relationship with happiness.
Photo by Christian Diokno: https://www.pexels.com/photo/gloomy-man-with-painted-clown-face-3251664/
Here’s the thing, happiness is more of a sense of ease in your own body. For me, it feels like I’m able to flow with life exactly as it shows up. I’m not fighting or trying to change anything. And when unpleasantness arises, I’m able to find the edges of suffering and peel them back without judgement. I’m able to stay rooted in love and my connection to that energy even in situations that would have, in the past, caused me to pull away or flee. That sense of ease and ability to stay fully here has taken years of mindfulness practice. And it isn’t a constant state, contrary to the societal narrative.
Nowness + Commitment + Gratitude=Joy
When I first started on my healing journey I thought if I just meditated, then joy would be soon to follow. What I didn’t understand at the time is that I still believed I needed to be ‘fixed”. I had this overall belief system that centered around being broken, damaged, unlovable and easy to abandon. But, taking that first step in sitting with myself even if it didn’t provide instant enlightenment or joy was the start of a lifelong commitment to self-love. And I’m not saying it’s easy! But, when we want to truly change our story we’re willing to sit and face ourselves. And through this sitting, we develop a new relationship with everything inside and outside of us.