How To Stop Collecting Pain and Finally Let Go

I’ve known many pain collectors in my life. Some that experienced trauma. Some that suffered with clinical depression. And of course, the psychologist in me seeks to understand what they all have in common. The truth is, it’s really difficult to paint a cohesive picture because pain collectors come from all walks of life. Yet, I’ve found that what unites them is a core belief that their life is a montage of moments stitched together by suffering and injustice. They believe they’ve gotten a raw deal and every negative event that has happened is proof that life is conspiring to both punish them and make them miserable.

Through this lens, pain collectors begin to gather proof to support their core beliefs. And they don’t need to look very far. Life indeed is full of adversity. We get the dream job only to find out our new manager is a bully or we buy our dream home only to find out it’s a fixer upper. Or maybe we’re in perfect health one day and get the news we have a life threatening illness the next. The list is endless. But the thing is, the more we look for the negative, the more negative our life becomes. Our suffering multiplies. Not only do we have the pain from our past, but pain in the present, and the ever-looming fear of future pain.

Here’s the thing, joy can’t co-exist within a mind that can only see and feel pain. It needs light…